Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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