he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
