just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
