Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
