Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
