Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
