just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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