Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
The air was thick with penises
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
