she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
