Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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