I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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