If that was your dad, he is hot
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
