normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
So much Jack, so little girl.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
