just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
