So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
