their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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