he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
