Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Randomize
