I molested 6 butterflies tonight
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
