She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
