the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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