This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
