Where is the hickey?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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