seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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