You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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