end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
