and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
