just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Someone came in the potted fern
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
