Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
