Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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