Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
