He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
