You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
