Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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