I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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