So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Your mouth is God's brothel.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
