You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
