Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
