just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
