I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
love makes seman taste better
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
