we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
