You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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