she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
