Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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