I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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