Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
