Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
