Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
