i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
