THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
