OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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