But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
